Love For A Lifetime

Shobhaa De writes in Spouse, “While (the) wife had ‘adjusted’ to his long absences, he felt quite lonely and said excitedly that he was looking forward to spending the next few days catching up with her life.”

Now that’s the kind of life we are all a part of; we get to read about celebrity couples preparing for the V-Day but like them every other person appreciates the essence of the day even though it’s western culture that is getting Indianised. So even though you are very much a part of each other’s life, the much commercialised Valentine’s Day gives you the chance to express your feelings. No more do you get butterflies-in-the-stomach; it’s just the desire to spend the whole day together and revel in nostalgia.

Studies of dating and engaged couples find that feelings of passion and infatuation tend to fade quickly in the first year, and a year or two later often it’s all gone. By then love takes a new meaning.

You learn to accept situations, circumstances and make sacrifices along with a lot of give and take to keep the relationship going. Gradually, love, marriage, children and with growing responsibilities, forty becomes an age to participate in work and more work.

There are days when you don’t take time to be with your beloved or just touch and reassure your feelings. With time every relationship gets caught in the ‘taken for granted’ syndrome.

You know you love but hardly get time to put forward your thoughts and feelings. And then it is stealing time to relax and spend time together, just the two of you.

Of course nothing is easy and so is finding true love in your valentine. The beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and as psychologist Robert Sternberg puts it, if you have the three ingredients of love – intimacy, commitment and passion – the relationship is going to last forever.

Excerpts from Article published in btw, Love’s Labour Found by Deeya Nayar-Nambiar

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